I am about to...

[I am about to give up]

Deep inside, I always beg to Allah to send a better substitue to take over my place. Simply,
I want to be replaced....
I am not capable to do this, to do that.

"Let me just do what I want", I screamed it loud in my mind

"I am so enough. I can't take it anymore. I am so done!", I whispered.

[To fall down or to be saved]

I stand near the high cliff.
If I trip, I will fall hard and I believe this heart won't beat again. Nearly die.
But if someone hold my hands, there's a chance that I can still alive...

"There are bunches of people. They are a lot better than me. I am willing to hand it over", said devilish me.

[A chance]

Allah saves me.
I can't count how many times He saves a lowly servant like me.
When I was about to crash (a bus/landrock) while riding, He still wants me to be alive.
When I was about to stepdown, He still sends me many good friends to encourage me and advice me.